passing by
by speckles
Summary: working on the story. edited the first chapter with hopes of editing the rest and finally finishing this story. DH :
1. part 1

I wrote this story two years ago, and after having read it again, I have decided to edit the entire piece. It's been a really long time, but I've been needing more time to finish this. Two years in fact.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Please read :) give my story a try, thanks!

Dita:

It has been months since I've talked to Hibiki. Yes, Hibiki, not some alien guy. Sense has finally hit me. He is just my co-pilot… sometimes. These days I really don't notice him much.

I realized a few months ago that I was truly obsessed with a dream. Really… What was that? I have wasted too much time thinking that I had to do something for him. I'd think: "He'd like me again in the end anyway." Hah! But now I realize the truth! I was trying to break free. I just didn't think I could. It was as if I had to be with him or I had to be perfect for him. But now I know! I've been so blind, and now that I am free of him, I've never felt better!

But still, I can't help admitting that when I see him with the others, I really do feel confused and awful inside. He looks so happy and so perfectly alright without me. I suppose I was never really anything to him. I suppose I never meant much. It's awful thinking about it, but I have moved on. I'm Hibiki-free! And it's better this way…

Right?

----------------------

I walked into the mess hall looking for Pai. I've been able to stay with her more often now, or I'd stay with Ezra and Parfet. It depends on who's around but, I really have gotten attached to Parfet. I tell her everything… I guess. I mean, I do trust her, and I tell her most everything but not about Hibiki. I just can't. Maybe I'd be able to tell her one day, but I can't for some reason. I just don't know how I'm supposed to explain myself.

I spotted Pai in a corner table, and we began our usual overly dramatic conversations about how Duero was different with Parfet. There was always much teasing involved and much hidden laughter, but it was always fun to talk about. Interestingly enough though, Pai has never mentioned Hibiki. I mean, I was rather obvious wasn't I? I'm sure my stalking-Hibiki-tendencies have surpassed whatever Duero and Parfet have shown. Could she possibly understand what I went through? Did she know? Whatever it was, Pai never strayed into that topic. And I was definitely thankful that she stayed away.

Pai excused herself just then and went to get more food while I sat alone in the table. I spent this time ogling and observing the hungry crew around me. They were all so happy. It seemed so perfect and here I was… the defect, the imperfection disturbing the peaceful order of things. The epitome of an unknown emptiness, and true to the irony of things, it was then that I spotted Hibiki from the corner of my eye. Great! Perfect timing. Of course, Misty was with him again. They both seemed so happy walking across the room (well at least she was). I just smiled knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about them ever again. Remember?

I am Hibiki-free.

----------------------

The mess hall was practically empty but I chose to sit in my place. I just wanted to see everyone go. The lights were dimming, and it really was getting late. But still, I sat quietly on my chair playing carelessly with my left-over noodles. One of my noodles was unusually whiter than the rest and I tried to pick it up with my chopsticks for a better look. It was then that someone sat in front of me.

"Hey Dita"

It was Hibiki. The monster from my past has returned. I gave a weak smile. It was easy smiling like that. I mean I really don't feel anything for the guy. He was just someone who just happened to be there. Strangely enough, a seemingly glum face replaced the usually cocky grin. To be honest, he didn't look so good. I asked him if he was alright. Of course, he said yes, but the tone in his voice said otherwise. It seemed as if he was carrying some weight around. I looked at him quite quizzically but he just stared at the white noodle in my bowl.

"Hey, I still remember what your noodles taste like..."

That was weird of him to say. I thanked him anyway, and I offered to give him some if I cooked any. He smiled, but it didn't seem to brighten his mood.

"Dita, I..."

Misty had come in, and Hibiki's words stopped in midair. She called for him and told him to hurry up. He had to see her room. After all, she had just fixed it up again. He smiled at me dryly and he headed off towards Misty's direction.

Funny, I don't remember it being that easy. I just remembered that Hibiki never did come to my room. I did ask him to come, but… Oh well, there was nothing to see or tell him anyway.

----------------------

I walked into my room feeling quite tired and exhausted. The room was quiet and warm, and I just flung unto my bed and smiled. Overall, today was a good day. The enemy didn't harass us, and I didn't care at all when Hibiki came to talk to me. I must really be Hibiki-free.

I was drifting off into a dream when I suddenly heard someone at my door. Half asleep, I walked towards it cautiously. I opened it and peered at the person standing before me. It was him. It was Hibiki. He was nervously moving his hands and he looked so uneasy. I asked him what he wanted, and he asked if he could come in, but I refused. I told him that it was late and that I was too sleepy to entertain guests. "Besides" I said, "What would we talk about?"

Hibiki stared at me with his sullen eyes, and I suddenly felt that I had done everything all wrong. I kicked myself mentally when I saw his smile fade. What was I supposed to do? I hesitated but I couldn't leave him like this. Yes, he could stay but just for a while.

He smiled weakly and came in. He walked towards me, but I backed up so that I was sure that there was a considerable space between us. This was getting awkward.

He needed help. Apparently, Misty had become a burden to him. He wanted her to at least stop following him, and he complained about how "leech-like" she was. That hurt me a bit. I knew I was like that... once. He kept on talking, but I just couldn't listen anymore. But despite my voluntary inability to hear him, I knew that he was stalling. There was something else.

"Dita, I.."

He stopped. I looked at him but he was staring at the floor.

"never mind... thanks though..."

He left quietly, and I just stood there quietly. Strange, I felt my insides turn. I felt so uneasy.

No! Nothing is changing. I'm happy now as it is... or am I?

Hibiki:

I walked slowly out of Dita's room. I tried to tell her the truth, but I'm only human. I'm not perfect. She's so different but I know that somehow she's still the same inside. I saw it when I was talking to her. It hurts when I see her. She looks so cold. Yeah, she's happy... but not with me. She used to be, right? Or was she always so unhappy?

----------------------

I walked into the darkness of my room and my head filled with thoughts and memories of Dita. Was it because of Misty that I hardly saw Dita? Its true that I can't deny the fact that Misty did captivate me. She's really nice and all. I like her a lot, but just as a friend.

Somehow, I feel that Dita isn't just a friend. I always thought it was that way. I mean I knew that we'd always have something. Even if we didn't see each other as often as before, there was still something. Maybe she doesn't think of it that way... maybe its just all me... Wasn't there something? I'm not that handsome or brilliant but... I'm not that bad...

I sank into depression.

Dita... she has forgotten me, but I miss her. I never thought I'd put it that way, but what's the use of hiding it? I miss being treated like an equal, like I'm worth something. Only Dita made me feel that way. Sure, she did get annoying. I couldn't take her half the time, but... I knew that there was more to her. I fell in love with her quiet, serious side, but she always seemed to mask it with her antics. But I knew that somewhere deep inside of her was someone really real, and I saw that person every time I was with her.

Dita:

The enemy finally found us. Strangely, the battle finished rather fast. Maybe it was because, Hibiki was with me. We joined together… something that hasn't happened in months. I suppose the enemy did not expect us to use it again. I'm not sure. I just think it was too easy...

The battle was over. I was so tired. I leaned back and completely forgot that he was there. I pushed away as quickly as I could while saying sorry. His hands were still holding mine, but really come on. We couldn't move after all, and there was no other way that we could have been seated. We were far too tired to just budge, but I felt so uneasy. This wasn't right... I didn't want to be here. I suggested that we separate, but I received no answer.

Hibiki was breathing roughly. I noticed that he looked like he was in some pain. I then noticed that my sleeve was heavier. It was red all over! I looked all over my arm for a wound. Nothing! Then where? Hibiki!

Hibiki:

Ugh... I feel so weak. My arm feels so numb, but I know that it is bleeding. I can hear Dita screaming. I'm trying to say something... anything but I can't. She looks so hazy. I only remember getting hit, but Dita didn't notice so I just decided to wait until the battle was over. I just wanted to save Nirvana, to save Dita.

I really do feel weak. I thought the wound was a minor one but if I feel this bad, I must've lost a lot of blood. Is this it? Do I still have time? I have to tell her. I tried to tell her. I whispered it but she couldn't understand. She was crying and I realized I was too. I had to tell her. She crept nearer and put her ear near my lips. I whispered but I couldn't give it out clearly...

"Dita, I'm sorry!..."

"I ... Lo-ove.."

Huuuh! Air! I needed to breath. How banged up am I? Why do I feel so bad? Dita, don't go... I have to tell you…

----------------------

Well what do you think? Sappy? Too impossible? Please review :)

The edited version may be worse or even surprisingly better, but please do review. I just feel that I need to revise this so that I can find a means to finish it.


	2. part 2

Disclaimer: I still do not own anything!

Thanks for reading the first bit... hope you give this part a try :) Sorry for any mistakes!

Again, this is the edited version, and I do hope that it is at least better than the original text it was in.

She was crying and I realized I was too. I had to tell her. She crept nearer and put her ear near my lips. I whispered but I couldn't give it out clearly...

Dita:

Everyone was with me as we rushed Hibiki to the infirmary. I was crying too much, but I tried to keep up with Hibiki's stretcher. I was so confused... I just ran with them. I remember red... red... everything was red. I couldn't stop crying. Tears just seemed to flow down my cheeks, and I couldn't think. I just wanted to hold him. I wanted him to know it was safe and that he was going to be alright,

but I knew that it wasn't exactly my place to be at his side... it was Misty's.

Hibiki:

My eyesight was blurry. I couldn't tell who was who. I was so confused. Everything seemed to be whirling around me. Despite the numbness in my arm, I felt pain everywhere. I knew that I was being pushed on a stretcher, and everything was but a blur. But I kept my eyes open, I just had to see that face for the last time. I had to see those eyes... blue eyes. I strained to see them... but there was nothing. I could feel my own tears on my cheeks, and an indistinct blue crept closer towards me. That was when I saw her... Dita. Yes, she was there, but she was still crying. No, I didn't want her to cry! I reached for her, or at least I thought I did but no one grabbed my hand. I reached for her again but then she was getting smaller and smaller, farther and farther. Wait!

I still need to tell you… Dita!

Dita:

Hibiki?

He called out to me! I didn't know what to say. It was a mixture of torture and bliss, but why? I just knew that I had to be there with him. I ran to the emergency room but I wasn't allowed in. I kicked the door in anger, but I was only answered by Pai, who was looking at me angrily through the small glass windows. Seeking for help, I whirled around to meet the sympathetic eyes of my crewmembers. They were all telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I did all I could, but no! I knew it wasn't enough! Not enough! Everyone thought I was mad about the incident, but its not just that. I know that I should have realized that he was hurt. I know that I should have done more than just cry and sit there... but I – I – didn't – I just didn't know what to do!

I just want to be there with him.

-----------------------

I could've easily blamed myself for everything at that moment, but I know better. It just happened. It was an accident, and I just couldn't stop it, or could I have? I sat down ruefully and looked around. Everyone looked pained. They all stared at the emergency room door or talked to each other, except for one. I noticed that Misty was staring at me...

"Why'd he call you?"

I didn't know. I tried to say so, but Misty just gave me a look of total despair before turning her back to me. Is she afraid that she might lose the one she loves whether he survives or not?

What? What am I saying? Even if Hibiki does survive this,

he will always be...

Misty's.

Hours passed and Hibiki was proclaimed: "stable." He had lost a lot of blood and he was still very very weak. Duero allowed us to visit him, but just two at a time at the most. I hadn't gone in yet... I didn't know if I was emotionally ready to see him. It was just too traumatizing to see him like that. I was too scared. I didn't want to have to remember what happened when I found him nearly unconscious.

I waited outside seated against the wall until practically everyone had left, and it was then that I noticed that I still had his blood on my sleeve. I cringed at the thought of Hibiki's blood wasted away on my sleeve. What should I do? I tried to fight back my tears only to be surprised by a hand beckoning me to stand up. I looked up to see Duero standing in front of me.

"Are you coming in or what? Everyone's gone. Misty just left."

Somehow I felt that he was trying to imply something in the last sentence. But surprisingly, I nodded and found myself slowly standing up. Duero helped me retain my balance, and he noted that I was still rather shaky from the accident. He would have to check if I hurt as well. I said I was fine, and I carefully walked into the emergency room and sat on the chair right beside the bed. I looked up warily.

Hibiki was pretty much the same. He looked as if nothing about him had changed except for his arm. It was bandaged heavily, and he was very pale. I heard a while ago that he needed blood. I would've given him mine but I am too young, I think. Duero told me that, but its possible that maybe I was too banged up myself to even think of giving blood. Whatever it was, I just stopped thinking about it. My head was just beginning to hurt too much.

It was so quiet and calm in the room that I couldn't keep my head up. I know I shouldn't have, but I decided that I'd just rest for a while, so I lay my head on my arms and down on the bed. I told myself I'd just rest but unfortunately, I fell asleep.

Days have past, weeks in fact. I heard Hibiki was doing better. He even woke up, but he's still hazy. He mutters a lot, but doesn't make any sense. I haven't seen him since the time I fell asleep by his side. Parfet tells me to go visit him, so does Pai, but I think its stupid. I'll just remember how much I wanted him because surprisingly, while I slept I realized that I missed him. I don't want to go back there where I'm not wanted or... loved. It hurts too much. In fact, I marvel at the existence of my past life. How did I survive?

I stood up to go to the mess hall. I was just leaving my room when I was stopped by Bart. He looked at me and I stared at him cautiously. He wore a sly grin as he handed me a piece of paper. Suddenly, he ran off laughing like crazy. I stood there stunned. It was only after a few seconds that I realized that I had something in my hands.

I opened up what looked like a note...

:) sorry I know its short

Click button below


	3. part 3

Disclaimer: I really do not own anything  
  
Give this one a try too. It might taste better than the last!  
  
*READ= really big thanks for the reviews! Thanks! I've never been happier... sorry this took so long  
  
*********  
  
I stood there stunned when I remembered I had something in my hands.  
  
I opened up what looked like a note....  
  
**********  
  
Dita:  
  
I looked at the folded piece of paper. How I wished it was from... Hibiki. No, wait, that isn't right... I... um, never mind. I opened the note carefully feeling all tingly inside. Could this be it? My fingers itched to reveal its contents but I couldn't rush. Composure! Professionalism! Breath!  
  
Dita,  
  
You have been invited to Bart's birthday party. Come to the mess hall in your costume at...  
  
What? What is this? An invitation! Obviously! What the heck! I felt like a complete idiot. Hah! What an idiot I am! Thinking it was some heart touching letter that would free my soul and give me ever-lasting happiness! Yeah right! I'm dreaming... great, I must fix myself! Delete Hibiki! Please! Let me be normal!!!! Ahhhh!  
  
Oh great, what am I gonna wear?  
  
*********  
  
Hibiki:  
  
Finally, I'm out of that room! I couldn't take it! It was too sad and lonely and full of Duero! Hah, it felt even worse when people visited. I mean, yeah, it great and all that, but she didn't come at all. What's the use? I tried to tell Dita but I was too pathetic. I tried to tell her the truth when I was dying! That's stupid! But, I know she isn't stupid. She must know at least something about how I... um...   
  
********  
  
Dita:  
  
I was walking in the hallway, trying to get to my Dread. I was just going to round the corner when "BANG".  
  
"Watch it!"  
  
I quickly apologized crankily and tried to get up. Fortunately, the person didn't help me at all! My vision was blurred because of the tons of hair in my face. I was so annoyed! I'm so bothered and confused and now someone has to make me fall! I looked up at the weirdo who bumped me. I stared for what seemed like an hour at the person. It took me practically that long to realize it was Hibiki. I suddenly lost all my words. I looked at him and I kept looking around nervously. I wanted to run so bad but I was frozen. Feelings inside me burned up. I wanted to cry... I'm so scared! I don't want to be here now! Why now! Get me out of here!!!   
  
I started to bite my lip and play with my fingers. I felt dumb there and I was just about to run when...  
  
"um, uh... hi" he muttered blandly.  
"h-hi" I answered  
  
I gave him a quick smile and he gave me a forced one. He told me he had to go, but he couldn't really tell me where. Hmm, that went well.  
  
**********  
  
Hibiki:  
  
That was so dumb! I can't believe I did that. I think it's the blood loss. Great! Now she's going to hate me even more!  
  
Bart came up to me just then in my tortured state on the floor. He asked if I was in need of help. I said no coldly. He told me about some party thing and that I'd have to be in costume... What?!!  
  
*********  
  
Dita:  
  
Stupid! That was wrong! Remember that you don't like him. There isn't anyone to like! Don't go back to your past! It was awful but still, the feeling was somewhat great. At least he didn't run off at once... but he did?  
  
Hah! Let's face it. I saw his face. It looked like he absolutely despised me, like it was so awful that we crossed paths. Maybe he was just shocked? Nah, I could see it. He wanted to leave!   
  
It's okay. I don't really mind. Oh hey, there's Parfet!  
  
*********  
  
Parfet is going with Duero to the party. Hmm, I've forgotten about that. I'll probably not go. Is it actually worth it? Everyone will just be talking and having fun... I won't fit in, in that atmosphere... I need time for myself now, just a bit of mending and rest. I started the long walk back to my room. I plopped down on my bed and pretended I was sick and fragile.  
  
Hey someone's at my door!  
  
*************  
  
Hah! Sorry, this is such a bothering chapter! Everyone's lost!  
  
Okay :) you know what to do.   
There's a pretty "button" down there 


	4. part 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything  
  
Fine I agree, fine! Cliffies are evil... fine, fine. hehehe Sorry, I know the last chapter was kinda... weird... I was not myself!  
  
Note = yes, dita is different here. Like in what happened in chap 1, she moved on... began to rethink her life :) ok? Understand? coolness!  
  
*********  
  
I started the long walk back to my room. I plopped down on my bed and pretended I was sick and fragile.  
  
Hey someone's at my door!  
  
**********  
  
Dita:  
  
The knocking grew louder. It was annoying me so much! I was tired and depressed. What I've been fighting off and been trying to forget has risen again. Hibiki... when will I be free from you? The knocking was getting louder and ah! It was unbearable.  
  
I opened the door to a truly excited Parfet. She was so happy and I just smiled weakly. I felt bad that I could not be happy for her, whatever the reasons were. She began to tell me about today's events. Turns out Duero was with her the whole time. They talked a whole lot and, well, he asked her to accompany him to Bart's party. Wow! I really felt happy for her, and I tried to show it but I think it all seemed sardonic to my friend. That didn't stop Parfet though. She kept on talking. Hmm, I began to wonder if I was truly happy.  
  
After a while, Parfet did leave. She had to tell Ezra the news, but she was worried about me. She noticed that I was different. Well, I didn't really understand my situation, so I couldn't explain it to her. I just told her I was still in shock from the blast and Hibiki's accident. So, she left unconvinced, and I, on the other hand, was left all alone in my room. I couldn't help but feel lonely. It seemed like everyone had a someone, except me. Am I so awful? Still, I do have my friends. That's what's important. I suppose that as long as people care for me, I'll be fine...  
  
I couldn't help thinking about the past events. I lost myself to fantasy and to my forgotten infatuation. I broke my commitment to be me, just me! I shuddered at the thought of being in love with Hibiki. I acted so ditsy! (no offense! Its just part of the story) it was so bad. I can't believe I can be like that. Hah!  
  
I was too disturbed. I decided to walk around Nirvana just to see what was happening. People were laughing and running around. Jura was convincing Barnette to come in some "costume" for Bart's party. Parfet was with Duero, as usual and Ezra was with her baby (and Pyoro). It was an ordinary day.   
  
I walked slowly to the mess hall. I was near its door when I heard a familiar laugh. It was Misty's. Curious, I decided to check on her when I heard Hibiki's laughter. I was just by the frame of the door. Really, I did not mean to listen in on their conversation. I just heard it by accident.  
  
"So I'll see you at your room before the party?" Hibiki said   
"Yes, don't forget me okay?"  
"Ya, Ya, we'll see"  
*laughter*  
  
I didn't hear anymore. I was already retreating to... anywhere! What was that? Why am I so bothered? It's okay right? Finally, those two are doing something! I'm happy for them. Really! There's no need to be jealous, no, um shocked? Yeah, shocked! It was a given that they'd be together. Yeah...  
  
I wandered around until I found myself in the "garden" (I don't know what that place is called.) I was staring at the infinite number of stars. Aliens? Hmm, really, what was I looking for in aliens? A ray of hope to bring us back to prosperity or really, someone who will make me believe that there actually is hope. My scapegoat... aliens. To be free from all my problems and the struggle of being me!  
  
My thoughts grew deeper. Something I kept to myself. I covered up the fact that I was really a deep thinker with acting ditsy. Well, it seems to work. No one really thinks I'm... well you know. I'm the stupid red-head. Pondering, I was sitting on the grass and totally unaware of the shadow behind me.  
  
"Ey"  
  
I spun around completely shocked. I stared into Hibiki's eyes for the millionth time, but this time he stared right back.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked  
"Ah, um, nothing... you?"  
"I was looking for someone"  
"Ah, I see"  
"Are you okay? You look so out of it?"  
"Yeah... I'm, fine..." I said, turning to face the stars again.  
"I thought you'd be the most excited of all. I mean it is Bart's party. You're usually rallying the rest of the crew to prepare for it." He replied, sitting beside me.  
"Oh, yeah..."  
"Really, are you okay?"  
"..."  
"Um, anyway, who're you going with or better yet, who are you going as, an alien?"  
"... I don't... um, think I can go."  
"Huh? Why?!"  
"Its too complicated and I... I have to go!"   
  
I stood up quickly and began to walk as fast as I could. I didn't want to run. It would be like I was really trying to avoid him, I don't know! I entered the hallway and that's when I started to race for my room, my refuge. I began to hear footsteps behind me and soon, I heard my name being called out. I quickly looked back to find Hibiki hot on my trail. He was getting nearer and I was feeling so weak inside that I couldn't concentrate on running faster. I trudged on and kept on going when all of a sudden, I was yanked fiercely at the arm. The pull was so strong that I lost my balance completely. I fell backwards trying to grasp onto anything and anyone quickly. It was so fast and complicated. I just remember ending up flat on the floor. Apparently, I brought Hibiki down with me. He was sitting down beside me, checking on his arm and his shirt. I lay paralyzed with fear, embarrassment and fear. I couldn't move.  
  
***********  
  
Hibiki:  
  
That strange girl fell on me! Ah! I think my arm was pinched too hard. I was annoyed! I mean she ran out on me and...  
  
"Oy, Dita, are you okay?"  
  
She just stared at the ceiling. She wasn't unconscious, I'm sure. She nodded as a response. Still, she lay there helplessly. I don't think she fell too hard. Really, I don't think so, but she just continued to stare aimlessly. I noticed that her eyes were shining more than usual. Shining? What? She was tearing. She wasn't crying, but I knew it was coming. She was trying to hold it in. Trying to hide it from me. I felt guilty somehow. I didn't really think it was my fault. I just had to do something. I reached out to shake her shoulder. I felt so uneasy. I haven't told her how I feel, but this wasn't the thought that made me queasy. This girl hardly, almost never, cries without reason. I mean she cries during the climax of battles, but this, this was unexpected of her. Nothing extremely bad happened recently! Something was seriously wrong. She didn't even budge when I touched her. Dita...  
  
She faced me slowly. It seemed like she was finally realizing the fact that she was still on the floor. She tried to sit up and I helped her. It was so quiet. She looked down on the floor and she slowly stood up, wobbling from side to side. That's when I stood up as well and helped her regain her balance. I held her hand and held it tightly. I nervously helped her to her room.   
  
In the foreign surroundings, I remembered a promise I once gave. Hmm, it isn't so bad in a girl's room. I scanned the area for Dita. She was sitting warily on her bed. The girl seemed so weak yet she was extremely willowy when she moved. I was standing by the door, leaning on the wall. I stared at her intently, expecting her to fall down again or something. Suddenly, she looked up at me and I tried to look away, but I kept seeing those eyes.  
  
"Thanks Hibiki, but you don't have to stay. I'm fine."  
"Uh, no, its fine"  
"But its late, you'll need to sleep"  
"but you might..."  
  
I realized it was pointless. Anyway, that was true. Did I expect to sleep with her in this room? Heck, no! I-I-I um that's not right! But how, how? How can I leave her like this? Ah! I'll have to follow her first this time. What can I do?  
  
I left her room quietly, only speaking my farewell when I was half-way out. She smiled back slightly and that was it. Her doors closed shut and I began my long voyage "home".  
  
**********  
  
well? Eeeh... I'm done for now at least. Hehehe was it short? Sorry, I try!  
  
button below! 


	5. part 5

I left her room quietly, only speaking my farewell when I was half-way out. She smiled back slightly and that was it. Her doors closed shut and I began my long voyage "home".  
  
*************  
Dita:  
  
I feel awful, but happy. It's weird but despite all that... Hibiki was there for me.  
  
I began to remember the night's events. Hibiki was with me, but I couldn't show my appreciation. Not that much. I look sarcastic!  
  
I lay in bed thinking and thinking. If I still feel something, even just the slightest for this boy, then could it be love? Love? You'd probably say, "no its called infatuation." No, I'm done with that. It was like that before, then crush, then "like", but now... love? I've seen him at his worst. I know how irritating he is. He isn't perfect or handsome. He's just a person, but he's different. Maybe because he isn't like the other girls or men on the ship. He has this intellectual side that touches me, but he hardly shows it. I love being with him because all I feel is that I'm with someone I trust and am comfortable with (kinda).  
Hah, what am I saying... I am not in denial. No, I admit I do love him. I love him. But I don't like entertaining this thought because I don't want to love him. He already is dead in love with this other girl, who has such a great charm that she draws him to her!!! Doesn't he see that I'm here too? This is why I've been fighting my feelings. I don't want to get hurt because I love him and I know that because I love him, I will let him be happy with Misty.  
  
Hah... I need to stop. Hibiki doesn't even like me. We're just friends, that's all.  
  
I just remembered, Bart's party. I'll go. Why deprive myself because of a man? What to wear? uhhhhh  
  
***************  
Hibiki:  
  
I haven't been seeing Dita around these past few days. Is she really not going to Bart's? Strange woman! She's going to miss out on all the food and food. Maybe, she still feels bad. I wanted to visit her and see if she was alright but I knew she wouldn't tell me the truth. It hurts! It hurts...  
  
**************  
Dita:  
  
The party is tonight. I'm wearing a fairy costume. It isn't so creative and original for that matter, but I don't feel much like trying. Urgh, its back. Depression because of this one boy.  
  
I stepped out of my room to see what everyone else was doing. I looked. People were running around preparing their costumes. Hmmm, wish I felt that happy...  
  
*************  
Hibiki:  
  
"Oy Misty! Don't forget tonight! I'll pick you up at 5:30 sharp!"  
"Yes, Hibiki..."  
"Psst, remind Duero to pick up Parfet too."  
"Yes, I did already."  
"Well, tell him we'll meet up at you know where, so we can all go together."  
"Okay... I'll tell him now!"  
"Good, hurry up, woman, and don't t-e-l-l...."  
  
I saw her, Dita, looking at me. She heard the whole thing. Drat! Oh no, what'll she think... I'm dead...  
  
"Uh, Dita, um, are you going later?"  
"...maybe"  
"You should, uh, go!"  
"...ya..."  
"Um I have to go to the, the, the um a ....."  
  
I ran. I didn't know what to do. Come on! I'm not perfect. Shoot, I'm such a loser!  
  
***********  
Dita:  
  
hahh... He has plans with Parfet, Duero and... Misty. I feel so... bad! I can't think of anything else to say. My friends are joining them. I mean, I can't do anything. They're his friends too but... why me?  
  
I don't want to go anymore..... but I promised myself. I'd do this for myself. I can't be selfish. I'll do this for Bart and for myself, even if it is selfish.  
  
***********  
  
I got dressed. I wore a long skirt. It was light, light blue and made of a flowy fabric. The top was a wrap-around tube with beadwork. It was of another shade of blue. I wore my hair down without the clips, and i sprinkled glitter on it. I added body glitter and added a touch of light make-up. I grabbed the wand I made a while ago and stared at my mirror. I felt vain... but I felt pretty. I haven't actually told myself that, but I feel I do look it right now.  
  
I looked at my watch... quarter to six. Hmmm, Hibiki is with her already. Bet he's enjoying. I wish I was Misty right now. I don't want to put up a fight with my feelings. I'm too tired and sick of it.  
  
I sat down on my bed. When will I go? I don't feel like I should anymore. Hush, stand! Let's go!  
  
I walked to my door as it swung open. I raised my head up and met a pair of anxious and waiting eyes. 


	6. part 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
I know this took very very very long. I apologize for the long delay. Thank you for all the reviews! I thought that my story was dead. Apparently, it still has to reach its real end. Thank you! :D  
  
*************  
  
I looked at my watch... quarter to six. Hmmm, Hibiki is with her already. Bet he's enjoying. I wish I was Misty right now. I don't want to put up a fight with my feelings. I'm too tired and sick of it.  
  
I sat down on my bed. When will I go? I don't feel like I should anymore. Hush, stand! Let's go!  
  
I walked to my door as it swung open. I raised my head up and met a pair of anxious and waiting eyes.   
  
*************  
  
Dita:  
  
I gave a small shout when Parfet barged into my room. She looked lost and in complete disarray. I tried to talk to her but she went on and on about her costume and her hair and her... ah!!! Parfet couldn't keep still! She went through my things looking for something, anything that might ease her situation. Why? What happened?  
  
Apparently, the dress she was going to use was completely useless. It tore right in the middle when she put it on. Strange don't you think? How on earth did that happen? Didn't she try it on before? Well, Parfet said that there was no need for trying on dresses. It was already perfect as it was and she knew it was the one. What? I didn't see the point of this conversation. It was already six pm! Wasn't Duero expecting her?  
  
Parfet's eyes scanned through my entire closet. She rummaged through all my drawers and boxes. Nothing! She couldn't find anything that could pass off as a costume. That's when I saw it. She plopped down on the floor and stared at me. Her eyes were turning red and I knew that I couldn't just leave her like this. I knew that Parfet really wanted this night to be perfect.  
  
I looked at my friend. I saw her pain. I gave her a tight hug and at that point I felt her pain. I shared that same feeling. Somehow I wanted this night to be perfect too. It was tremendously painful to accept that i wanted this night to be mine because that is a wish that will never come true. I let go of Parfet, who looked curiously at me. Suddenly out of the blue, she yanks my arm and drags me out of my room. She kept on screaming, "I know where I can find a dress! I know where I can find it!" Her voice was overflowing with a newfound hope. I was happy for her, really. But it was hard to feel joy when I was being dragged across the corridors of Nirvana.  
  
"Here! In this storage room! I saw something here before when we were cleaning this place up. Dita, stand guard outside while I look for the dress. I don't want Duero to find me looking like this!" Parfet said.  
  
"Wait! Parfe.."  
  
She was gone. My friend was somewhere in the depths of boxes and boxes of old items. I was alone again. My hair was all over the place and I knew I looked terrible. Terrible. How do I expect to have a perfect night? Parfet may have her night, but I never will. Ah, I know that it is up to me. I can change my fate but... I've lost every trace of hope left in my body.  
  
I had been waiting for my dear friend for nearly twenty minutes. The party had started already, and I was still alone. I was tired. I let my body drop onto the floor. I sat with my back against the nearby wall. Where is Parfet?   
  
My eyes began to droop. Parfet will wake me up when she's done, right? Right... I fell asleep. My thoughts ran noisily in my head. I was asleep but my pain was not. My head was throbbing. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. What was that noise? I can't really tell. I-I need to get up. Where? What?  
  
My eyesight was blurry and I tried to move my feet. I was moving. Where? Duero? Wait, where are we going?  
  
"Dita, wake up!"  
  
"Duero...?"  
  
"Where's Parfet? I can't find her anywhere!"   
  
"Ah?"  
  
"What if something happened to her?"  
  
"No... she's..."  
  
"Where? And why were you asleep by the storage room? Snap out of it Dita! Help me look, please!"  
  
"She's just there..."  
  
"Dita, you really must be more helpful!"  
  
"but she's just there by the..."  
  
"Please stop rambling! Be serious!"  
  
I gave up. Duero was clearly going crazy over the loss of Parfet. I just continued to follow him around the ship. I was being dragged again! I was losing my balance here and there.  
  
Where are we going? Its getting dark... Duero! Where are we?  
  
**************  
  
I hope this chapter wasn't awful. It's short but it's been a while. I'm rusty!  
  
Please review, comment, etc. Thanks :D 


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